Lovebites
by singing like blue
Summary: No matter how much time they get off cases, these two will be in love forever. - Valduggery drabbles
1. I: slurping on purpose

**A/N - **dedicated to dewdrops and crowns (Nona), who is simply flawless

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><p>The chocolate and banana milkshake never touched the table. Valkyrie just drank it while Skulduggery watched on, facade up. His eyes never left Valkyrie's face, as he watched how sexily his partner (girlfriend, lover, whatever! Like he was going to say companion... He was no 900 year old alien) drank the milkshake, so slowly, slurping to her heart's content.<p>

"Can you stop?" Skulduggery asked. She suddenly stopped drinking.

"Stop what?" Valkyrie said, with an innocent face. She looked like she didn't know what the hell Skulduggery was talking about, but, as Skulduggery knew well, looks can be deceiving.

"That!" His cries turned heads on the tables around, a few mortals started staring.

"What?" Valkyrie still didn't know what he was talking about. "What are you going on about?" She slurped her milkshake, her milk beard still on her face. She probably didn't know it was there, but it looked kinda cute to Skulduggery. Who was he kidding? It looking delicious.

In more than one way...

"That slurping! It's so annoying." Valkyrie slurped once more before putting her cup down on the table.

"No."

"Please. Just stop sucking that milkshake for a minute."

"No."

"ARGH!" He screamed and almost pulled his hair (blonde today, a bit shaggy) out. He suddenly had an idea. "Can I suck your lips instead?" He asked.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	2. II: stolen

**A/N - **complete, random, stupid fluff for you, as I'm bored and not bothered writing a good fic, so there you go.

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><p>"<em>I'm just setting, I'm just setting a trap, and I'm not pulling, I'm not pulling for ya..." <em>Valkyrie sang, using her brush as a microphone.

"_Everything I do is bittersweet, you could tell me secrets that I'd probably repeat," _Tanith continued, using her toothbrush. "I need Brendon."

"You can have Spencer," Valkyrie said. The song Bittersweet by Panic! At The Disco still went on in the background.

"You can have Spencer, or Ryan, or whatever, I need Brendon!"

"I want Brendon!"

"You don't need him though." She put blue toothpaste on the end of her toothbrush and wet it before putting it in her mouth. The song in the background turned to Thnks Fr The Mmrs by Fall Out Boy. "You can have Pete Wentz if you want?"

"Too many tats, thanks."

"Skulduggery has a tat."

"That's his facade tattoo. It makes him human. I'm okay with that."

"I like tattoos. Which is another reason why I should have Brendon. He has a piano tattoo sleeve and he's _gorgeous_!"

"Who's gorgeous?" A skeleton with a big ego stepped into the room.

"You are, honey!" A 20 year old Valkyrie replied.

"That's good. That's very good." Tanith chuckled, spitting toothpaste and spit everywhere. Valkyrie then laughed back.

"Aren't you gonna call me gorgeous?"

"That would be an understatement." Valkyrie ran over and kissed the skeleton's teeth, as she couldn't be bothered pressing the facade tattoo.

"So are you."

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	3. III: you love me still

**A/N -** this is a bit better. honestly, i have no inspiration at the moment.

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><p><em>Knock, knock.<em>

The knocks woke Valkyrie from her peaceful slumber. She wasn't a teenager any more, but she still needed sleep - she laughed at insomniacs. She sighed and looked through the window in her house.

Skulduggery was standing outside.

_What are you doing? _She mouthed and Skulduggery pointed to the door. She moaned and went down the stairs and opened the door, rubbing her bed-hair as she did so. "What's going on?"

"I wanted to give you this," He replied and brought a bouquet of roses from behind his back. She sighed, this time from love, and took them. Smiling, she hugged them to her chest.

"Thank you," she whispered, looking down at them.

"Can I come in? I'm getting chilled to the bone, literally."

"Very funny. Not. Come on," She stood outside so he could come in. "So, what's up?"

"The sky."

"Used so many times by 10 year olds. Get a life, Skulduggery."

"Sorry, can't."

"Point taken. Sit." She motioned to the lounge nearby. He sat and she sat in his lap. "I know you don't come for nothing, so what is it?"

"I just wanted to see you. I... I missed you." Valkyrie chuckled softly.

"You saw me four hours ago, you stupid skeleton."

"Too long."

"You're not very funny when you're being lovey dovey, you know that?"

"You love me still."

"You are reminding me of that wretched vampire!"

"Don't remind me."

"Just did."

"Pig."

"You love me still."

"You got that right," Skulduggery ended their conversation by pressing his facade tattoo and kissing her.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	4. IV: there's a difference

"You like him don't you?" Tanith stated her observation, looking at Valkyrie curiously. The guys talked a few metres away, making their latest plan. The question Tanith asked wasn't exactly a question, it was an observation, both women knew it.

"What?" Valkyrie said, acting shocked. "What are you talking about? Of course I don't like Skulduggery. I mean, I like him as a friend, but I know which way you're talking about."

"I've seen the way you look at him. It's not in a Hey-I'm-Valkyrie-You're-Friendly-Sidekick-Who's-Your-Friend, it's I'm-Valkyrie-Cain-But-I-Want-To-Be-Mrs-Valkyrie-Pleasant. Get what I mean?"

"You're totally weird."

"Hey, I admitted I love Ghastly, ten months later, we're married. Say it."

"No."

"Go on!"

"I won't!"

"Say it!" Tanith rose to her feet. Valkyrie did the same.

"I WON'T SAY I LIKE HIM, BECAUSE I LOVE SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT!" Oops. Did she just scream that?

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	5. V: japanese

Valkyrie turned over her test and looked at the score. An E. Again! She totally hated Japanese.

She walked out of the class, her head drooped. "So?" Skulduggery asked.

"An E. Again. I'm dying."

"Well, I can be your tutor."

"Seriously?" One eyebrow of Valkyrie's went up and she spoke in a disbelieving tone.

"_Weelll_, technically speaking I can only teach you the hiragana. Not katakana or any-"

"I don't know what the hell you just said."

Skulduggery then said something that sounded weird... Very weird.

"What?"

"Your first sentence."

"What did it say?"

"I love you." Valkyrie then swept Skulduggery up in a hug, and he swirled her around. Bliss.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	6. VI: ongoing

"Valkyrie, I just can't do this any more," The skeleton said, looking down at his partner. "At least, not like this."

"But I thought you liked this."

"I do, but..."

"You don't." She pouted, looking sad.

"It's not that I don't enjoy this, it's that I don't prefer it."

"Look, it's just one more shop."

"Can I wait in the car?"

"No."

"Why?" Now he was actually begging!

"Because there's this dress I need help getting into. And I think you might be the right guy for the job." Skulduggery froze. He may hate shopping, but he _loved_ the dressing rooms.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	7. VII: rain

"It's raining."

"Yes, I can see that," Skulduggery walked to the Bentley, unaffected by what Valkyrie just said.

"But it's raining."

"You have said that twice now."

"It's raining, Skulduggery."

"They say repetition is the sign of madness."

"What about my hair, Skulduggery?" He turned around.

"It looks just fine, now walk."

"My hair is ruined, Skulduggery."

"And if you're in the car, I reckon it won't be affected there. Get in."

"My hair!"

"The. Car. Is. Five. Metres. Away! Just get over here."

"But-"

"God, Valkyrie, you've fought monsters, saved the world and now you're worried about your hair. I'll start singing that old song, Singing In The Rain if you don't stop complaining."

"But my hair, Skulduggery!"

"I'm singing in the rain, I'm singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I'm happy again," Skulduggery sang, looking rather unhappy.

"Skulduggery..."

"I'm laughing at clouds-"

"SKULDUGGERY!"

"What? I'm actually enjoying this!" Valkyrie moved towards Skulduggery.

"What about kissing in the rain?" She asked. Skulduggery looked down at his partner.

"Now that, would be... simply splendid." He bent down and his lips meet hers.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	8. VIII: chocolate

Skulduggery was being... abnormally nice by dressing up as the Easter bunny. Valkyrie was sitting on a lounge chair nearby, looking royal eating Valentines chocolates that she had been savouring. It was now the 7th of April, and she got given them on Valentines Day, so she decided she was going to indulge into them. Skulduggery was placing eggs for the Easter egg hunt Valkyrie wanted, and he placed eggs in threes, one egg for each person, the people being Valkyrie, Tanith and Ghastly. He sighed and Valkyrie stopped eating and looked over.

"What is it?" She asked, looking concerned. Skulduggery and Valkyrie had been dating for five years, but she had never heard him sigh like that before.

"I want chocolate," Skulduggery said.

"Why?"

"I want to taste something, not just live my days meditating, threatening and punching. Even though I threaten and punch rather well."

"You're a skeleton." Valkyrie didn't seem to notice that she was being unemotional towards her boyfriend... partner? What did she call him? Skulduggery sighed.

"Exactly," Skulduggery went back to placing the eggs in threes. Valkyrie realised she upset him and went over and gave her Easter bunny skeleton a hug. She kissed him, as he had his facàde on, and he eagerly kissed her back. "What was that for?"

"I'm sorry. I think I was being unemotional. But, whatever," She kissed him again, this time with more longing and passion. When they went up for air, she decided to say something. "You know, I said lay out the eggs, not dress up as a bunny. Even though you look incredibly sexy."

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	9. IX: hurt

**A/N - **originally, this was going to be a multichapter, but I felt uncomfortable writing even this, so this won't be continued.

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><p>I had a million reasons to run away, crawl up into a hole and die. The person standing in front of me was ruthlessly punishing me for nothing. Nothing what-so-ever. Every night, he would abuse me, sexually as well, and hurt me and punish me and would leave me broken and horrific. Every night I would die. During the day, I was as bright as the sun, hiding what was happening to me to myself, but it wasn't enough. Today, Skulduggery noticed. And for that, I was getting punished more.<p>

Fletcher slapped me once again on the cheek, leaving a throbbing, red bruise there, where he had slapped me before. He did it numerous times on that cheek, and moved onto the other. I closed my eyes and let him, knowing that if I complained, there would be more, but if I was silent and ignored the pain, the end and sleep would come quicker. My life is always easier if I do that.

He started muttering words of hate and gripping parts of my body and hurting them, scratching, biting, whatever he could to hurt me, like he hated my whole existence. I hardly noticed, trying to just numb the pain by thinking of nice things. Skulduggery. Ghastly. Tanith. China. My little sister, Alice. My parents. Everything but this was great, and if I lived that life during my torture, the torture would ease out of my mind.

Fletcher soon got bored of me, and he left the room. I quickly got dressed and went down the stairs quietly silently, passing where Fletcher was watching football, drinking beer. I got my keys, and I almost had a heart attack when they jingled, but Fletcher was too drunk to care. I wiped the tears from my eyes and whispered, "Goodbye, Fletcher." I didn't take anything of mine. I took it out when the torture started, so when I could escape, I wouldn't have to bring my possessions. I silently left the house, feeling no regret.

Passing strangers on the street looked at my bruises and scratches with apprehensive eyes, but I ignored them. I was used to the stares I was given, my friends always stared. I would just give an excuse like, "I hit my head in the shower," or, "Don't worry, I fell," and they'd believe me. Except Skulduggery, I couldn't make that detective's mind believe this lies. He's too good at his job.

So that's why I'm going to his house. To clear things out. I need somewhere to stay anyway, my parents and Alice would ask why I'm like this, and I can't tell them that Fletcher has been abusing me. God knows what my father would do to him, how he would react, how crazy he would go. Skulduggery would hopefully be calmer, figure things out before he acted. Hopefully was the key word in that sentence.

I got in my car that was a block away, I never told Fletcher where my car was, I didn't want to take any chances. I unlocked the door and put the keys in the ignition, starting it multiple times as it was stalling. I finally got it to start and I drove away.

A pop song on the radio came on, and I had no idea what it was. I haven't listened to music in ages, detective work and torture got in the way and Fletcher restricted the use of my possessions. No iPod. No computer. No phone unless Fletcher agrees. I hadn't touched many electronic devices in a while.

The song on the radio was sort of strange, and I didn't like it. A few years ago when I was listening, or actually allowed to listen to music I would like those sort of songs, but now that I've been changed so much, mentally and physically, I think my taste in music has changed. I turn the radio off and keep the car silent for the rest of the journey.

Finally I reach Skulduggery's house, and I park my car in the usual spot in his garage. I stay in the car for a second, just chilling. What was I going to say to him? How would he react? Would he ask why I didn't tell him? Would he be supportive or angry, or just mute?

I left the garage and went up to the front steps, putting my keys in the door. It's 12 o'clock at night, Skulduggery is either meditating or doing a report. I took my shoes off at the door and went inside. It's pitch black, so I turn on a light and the whole house lights up. Skulduggery is sitting in his usual chair, meditating. I cross across the room and sit down in one of the chairs, resting my head against the chair. I succumb to sleep...

"Valkyrie!" Skulduggery says, evidently waking me up. I open my eyes and his skull is right in front of my face. "What are you doing here?" he asks in a surprised tone.

"Need to tell you something," I say, looking at where his eyes should be. I stretch up to get my muscles working again. I try not to harm any of my bruises or scratches when doing so.

"What is it?" Skulduggery says. Just his relaxing tone makes me start crying and sobbing on his skeleton frame.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


	10. X: broken

**A/N - **argh, it's been a while! i've honestly lost my muse for skulduggery pleasant fics, and harry potter, the hunger games, doctor who, sherlock, being human and the avengers just seems much more appealing to me. but, you know, here's a little hurt/comfort for you.

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><p>"Let us say goodbye..."<p>

The words are swept up in tears from Stephanie, her ageless, but delicately beautiful, face covered by a black cloth, anonymous amongst the crowd. Sighing, she wipes her eyes with a tissue, with difficulty, and pants heavily. _Breathe..._ she thinks, and shakes her head. She can't cope. She knew this would happen – she knew she'd outlive her parents – but this was too quick, she wasn't prepared.

As they lowered her father's body into the grave, Stephanie looked across the humongous hole in the ground to her sister, Alice, and her husband. Obviously, they grieved as well. This was an awful day for them both. All she wanted was to go over there and hug her, they could grieve together. But, obviously, they couldn't. Not ever, now.

She watched them lower the body into the hole. She watched them fill up the hole with dirt. She watched as they placed his tombstone over the grave, and she watched as people placed flowers on not only his grave, but her mother's and her faux one. She watched and she couldn't help but sob.

He wrapped an arm around her and whispered words of comfort in her ear. But she was broken – there is nothing he can do to stop that.

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><p><strong>AN - **don't favourite/alert this without reviewing


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